Two Three

It’s been a longtime Since – Saw your sudden faceIn glimpse –Shocked head turnYour visageGrey – tinged withthose foreverBlue eyes. The lightSurroundingcrystal whiteclear –Like you’d polishedEvery surface withCrystal polished clothWhite – Scrubbed, scuffMarks –Clean. All these yearsWe’veBeenSeparate pieces. Dedicated your timeTo looking atThe mark.Assessed itsNeed.Thought –How to rub its surface clean. Crossed your mind:that youContinue reading “Two Three”

I Could Spend

I could spend daysSitting in our old garageshed, studiowatching you shornEdges off wood, weld whiteSparks from melting metalTwist clamp into exact position. Us –Enclosed behind an uncleaned window- glass –murky from winter raindried by April sun – UsInside warmed brickencased in the memoriesOf our times spent togetherYears lived outTears wept for misunderstandings.Or arguments still notUnderstoodRegretsOverContinue reading “I Could Spend”

Things I Have Given You

Gifts I may have given youthingsIn our time of knowing. When our paths crossedSuddenly – unexpectedly.Serendipitous. If I have. You will know.My gifts are unusualUnlike others –Worthless –Against the normal world. My gifts, they came from aA troubled manWhom I sat byAll my life. Watched him catchGlimpses of strangeSaints – Angels and glimpses of GodWhileContinue reading “Things I Have Given You”

Days

I only needed your helpFor a few daysBefore I disappearedFrom view. Saw in youThe shadowsThat spooked youIn daytime, sun bright andWhenNoOneIs really there. Stood in frontOf them –Blocking themFrom your view. Said – Don’t listen to the shadows.They disappear with the lightAnd when another is near. You –dropped my hand in darkness.Let me find myContinue reading “Days”

Empowerment vs Disempowerment

Narratives for survivors and for understanding survivors.  Empowering narratives – the role they play and how important they are for survivors. I want to talk today about empowerment and disempowerment and the role it plays for survivors of extreme and traumatic events in childhood. Empowerment is a positive state of mind. Disempowerment is the opposite.Continue reading “Empowerment vs Disempowerment”

The Sexualisation of Women and Girls

What’s Happened to Sex ? What’s happened to women and girls? A great light of shame shone on Pornhub recently where it was found that 14m of their videos contained child abuse, rape and trafficking. I’m not moralistic about pornography – sex is sex. But, I have been concerned, for a long time, at theContinue reading “The Sexualisation of Women and Girls”

July

July If we were together –I’d take this busAnd come and see you – nowAnd sit on your sofaWith sweaty thighsAnd drink wine,While London blowsIt’s late sticky breezeDrifting in wavesThrough the open window. Covered in city grime from a sunLike the SaharaThe heat from your kissesOnly serves to addTo the desire. I imagine leavingGlitter onContinue reading “July”

Good Enough?

Good enough. Is what you give meand I give yougoodenough? I want to leave you –looking outward through glass. Your gaze turnedto girlsfull of chatter,observefemale handtuck hairbehind ear,crossslender footover other,movement that tiltspelvis in rhythmicconversation. Lostin male observationin the midst offemale banterbehind glass. Then –you’ll leave our crafted hearton the station floor, your hushed scuffed scatteredContinue reading “Good Enough?”

I know

I know I know the sexyou had beforeme – was the type –where: she stoodexposingher clitorisfrom theother side ofthe room. Pouting –Pornography –ExclaimingCan you come ? You – in the other corneron your kneespenis in hand. I see –the distancebetween your penishand and her pulledback fingers. Like neither ofyou have beenshownSexLoveConnection. She makes you bellycrawloverContinue reading “I know”

Me and You

Me and You I’ve put all the clothes I’d wearInto the wardrobe –hung them on hangers,brushed out the creases,closed the door.Placed the tinykey on the dressing-table –for you whenthe house abandonedechoing and empty of me. There will always be partsto take out, look at, admire.Feel the weight of fabric, examineseamstress sown hemsand cuffs.Silks, tweeds andContinue reading “Me and You”

Devoid

MaybeGod has playedsome trick on meAlways –Devoid of love My familySweptto a distantshore.A placeI have no map for. Left me dislocatedAlonewithout walls A storm likeNo other. The oceanI wept-Still –never enough. Tried torepair myselfwith old threadOn spoolLeft by myMother.Threaded the needlein the dark.Felt the sharp endedpoint draw tiny specs ofwet warm blood. Was it inContinue reading “Devoid”

Endometriosis and Infertility:such unwanted and uninvited guests.

I can’t begin to tell you how I feel about my fertility. No oneprepares you for infertility. Rather, from the start you’re preparedfor fertility. In fact, you have to do the opposite of being all thingsfertile. The truth is people have children all the time – no one givesa fig that you don’t or can’tContinue reading “Endometriosis and Infertility:such unwanted and uninvited guests.”

The Blast

You – laid on the groundwound gapingand bloodied –dark blackskinshattered andhanging-weightless. You – oblivious.No thoughtforstitching.Been with you so longit’s unrecognisable. No one noticedtil I came along.Pointed withmy finger –while you saton a parkbench, arm restedalong the back. Your disbelief –like your head issevered from your neck .That my eyescaused the cavernousblack bloodied hole. ‘Everyone else…neverContinue reading “The Blast”