Devoid

Maybe
God has played
some trick on me
Always –
Devoid of love

My family
Swept
to a distant
shore.
A place
I have no map for.

Left me dislocated
Alone
without walls

A storm like
No other.

The ocean
I wept-
Still –
never enough.

Tried to
repair myself
with old thread
On spool
Left by my
Mother.
Threaded the needle
in the dark.
Felt the sharp ended
point draw tiny specs of
wet warm blood.

Was it in those wilderness
years the boy
Before me
Grew from droplets
cast on the flagstone floor.

How else could
I end up – here:
I mistook his motherless
State – for the hole
In my own heart,

Tripped me up.

Published by Stella McHugh

Survivor of so many things that happens to women and girls.

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