Falter – to lose strength or momentum.
Speak hesitantly
Move unsteadily or hesitantly
Verb – Action
(Ref- Dictionary definition Google online)
There’s a lot of talk about strength and how strong someone is. They are strong because they do this or that, perhaps warranted perhaps not. Where am I going you ask? It is a valid question – I guess to answer that….
In order to know strength, to have it in your life, for it to be part of you – one must know how to falter. Faltering is to lose your footing, have no map, compass, navigational tool to know your way out. To falter is to lose your step into such darkness that you never knew it existed.
Once there, you have two choices, sink in to darkness and be fearful and remain there. Or, let the blackness of the darkest night immerse you in the offerings of: learn to swim through the weightless darkness. It is your friend.
How?
To falter, lose you footing, arises not from weakness of the personal. It arises from the need of an injury the soul has already witnessed. To falter is a signal from your soul for strength to arise. It is an awakening of strength, a call from the soul.
It is not as simple as saying, the soul cries therefore we must overcome and all will be fine. The journey of the soul is not like that. The journey of the soul is to expunge the toxicity it is attempting to shed in order to live within you. For you to become part of it.
That process is not easy, it might take you through horrific and terrible relationships, illness, hardships, loss, unimaginable things crossing your path. The life journey of the soul is not an easy route laden with riches and infinite joy. Rather, it is a journey that takes you to the heart of yourself, the fear within you – the soul stands before you and asks. What will you do in the darkness?
Look for the light -find your way out.
Push away those who do not understand.
Push through judgements that do no validate your experience.
Seek solace in the alone and know there are others just like you doing the exact same thing.
Go through the alone, greet all those you meet and wait all the time it might take to meet those who see you.
To falter is to garner strength for the journey ahead.
Faltering is the way to strength.
However you falter. Know the darkness offers light. Seek those who support you in those moments. However fleeting, their presence in your life will provide more than those that see your faltering as a weakness.
It is not. I am here to tell you. Faltering is strength.
I am not magical. I do not have any special answer that makes me know better.
I am like you, the darkness is what has brought me here.
Sometimes on my own, sometimes with others. But, it was my belief that somehow in that darkness. I might still exist beyond and in the light.
I am not special or magic. You are.
Be strong. Reach out. Be heard.
Stella McHugh – Writer 