I don’t know..

I don’t know…

I hardly know what to do
With all those years
We spent together –
You looking after me
Taking care.

Me in pain.

Faced with the
Choice of: would I
Die? Would our
baby survive? If
I conceived
our child.

A fate so
cruel to my mind,
Now – seems I
must live years
passing with
people bearing

It’s like the whole
world can have
A child and

I cannot.

No matter
how far the
distance I
travel – go –
defining myself

Another -one
comes -along
– shows
me – still.
Reminds me


I am not.

I am not mother.

No one ever tells you:
Infertility is inescapable.

Even though –
could have brought
Our child into the world

These words you struggle
To say –

So, my love, I will say
Them for you.

So, at least, your heart
Can be eased.

You did what I could not.

Thank you.

May 29th 2022
For JR

Published by Stella McHugh

Survivor of so many things that happens to women and girls.

One thought on “I don’t know..

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