I don’t know…
I hardly know what to do
With all those years
We spent together –
You looking after me
Taking care.
Me in pain.
Faced with the
Choice of: would I
Die? Would our
baby survive? If
I conceived
our child.
A fate so
cruel to my mind,
Now – seems I
must live years
passing with
people bearing
child.
It’s like the whole
world can have
A child and
I cannot.
No matter
how far the
distance I
travel – go –
defining myself
contentedly
As
Non-mother.
Another -one
comes -along – shows
me – still.
Reminds me
(what)
I am not.
I am not mother.
No one ever tells you:
Infertility is inescapable.
Even though –
Nothing
could have brought
Our child into the world
Safely.
These words you struggle
To say –
So, my love, I will say
Them for you.
So, at least, your heart
Can be eased.
You did what I could not.
Thank you.
May 29th 2022
For JR
One thought on “I don’t know..”