A Christmas Psychosis. Everybody’s talking about Christmas. How they are going to spend time with their families. I won’t be. I haven’t done for many years. Why? A good question. One I’m not even sure I can answer. I don’t have one, a family of my own and I don’t have one I belong to.Continue reading “A Christmas Psychosis”
I can’t begin to tell you how I feel about my fertility. No oneprepares you for infertility. Rather, from the start you’re preparedfor fertility. In fact, you have to do the opposite of being all thingsfertile. The truth is people have children all the time – no one givesa fig that you don’t or can’tContinue reading “Endometriosis and Infertility:such unwanted and uninvited guests.”
I wish you’d told me-How much it’dhurt whenyou left meforever. A place –we both knew. Remember – whereOur mother left. You atop of thegreen carpet of stairs,worn when our feet were little.Going up to bed and bouncing downfor breakfast, then school.Me at the foot – holdingmy mother’s hand.Her breath unableto fill the wordsShe said. YouContinue reading “Sister”
I wish I could dismantle thisarmour – It’s too big for me,too hard and heavy. I’d never choose it in a shop.The shape’s all wrong. The edges too sharp,the style too manly.I’m sure my Dad slipped it over my headwhen I was a girl. In slumber. Lifted my back with his large hand – sleepyContinue reading “Shielded”
You – laid on the groundwound gapingand bloodied –dark blackskinshattered andhanging-weightless. You – oblivious.No thoughtforstitching.Been with you so longit’s unrecognisable. No one noticedtil I came along.Pointed withmy finger –while you saton a parkbench, arm restedalong the back. Your disbelief –like your head issevered from your neck .That my eyescaused the cavernousblack bloodied hole. ‘Everyone else…neverContinue reading “The Blast”
Maybe –My loveWill impactWhen I have gone. You – left.Lookingover your shoulder – Always –Me – No longer there. Your head twistsneck cricks – swiftswell of skinand mouth ajar: Howl. That – the giftof me leaving.Will allow youTo love.
You tell me – In all the thingsyou’ve had inyour lifeI matter less –than A passed coffee cup.A jolt against someone inthe streetA glance over your shoulderout of a stranger’s gate. Don’t tell meI am no one.That I don’tmatter in the world. I gave you Bukowski’sWomen – Ted HughesCrow. Don’t ever tell me I amContinue reading “Matter”
There is a boysleeping on my rug.Blue.I’ve brought him homethrown a blanket overhis face,leaving his feet exposedlike Dorothy’s witch.
Can we just have sex ?Let me – leave these mad men behind –I’m so tired of men that drive me mad in circles. Like mad dogs, barking, running around, chasing their tail,digging holes in the gardenAll for noreason.